TWO FORCES

There are two forces rising inside me. On the one hand I feel stronger and more focused. As if the creative energy of J. shakes me up into one upward moving force. I am thinking that thanks to his presence I will be able to express myself more. I almost feel protected by his presence somewhat. As if he's energy is saying to me: "Shout louder, it's all you need to do. Have no fear." On the other hand I feel like I am able to make up my mind faster. I don't take his word for anything. I think and stop even faced with this force that is J. My body shakes and rattles every time and every time I come out loving it. I cannot believe that this is actually happening. Right here and right now. I need long breaks. Is this something I should I share it with him? I am so used to loving the impossible, I am not sure I believe in the possibilities that are here and now. This is what his presence is making me question.